


Scheduling Conflict

by EggMuffin



Series: EggMuffin's FicWriMo [13]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Assassins AU, Gen, Harry is a Little Shit, Kissing to avoid identification trope, M/M, is it still a meet-cute if they're contract killers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8556754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggMuffin/pseuds/EggMuffin
Summary: Harry Hart is a contract killer with a stellar track record and he has never had a problem with finishing a job.Until now.EggMuffin's FicWriMo #13.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is.

Harry Hart is very good at what he does. He is discreet, quick, inconspicuous. He gets the job done swiftly and efficiently and his clients appreciate that. Harry Hart is a contract killer with a stellar track record and he has never had a problem with finishing a job.

Until now.

He’s supposed to be seeing to the assassination of a prominent member of a London drug cartel, only the man in question is currently tied up on a chair in his dining room, being held at gunpoint by a young man. Or well, was held at gunpoint, because the young man has pointed his gun at Harry now, ignoring the muted whimpers of Harry’s mark.

‘’The fuck are you?’’ the young man asks and reveals his prominent South London accent.

‘’I could ask you the same,’’ says Harry.

They stare at each other, willing the other to break first. The young man does, of course, because Harry prides himself on his patience.

‘’You’re not here to kill this arsewipe, are you?’’

‘’As it happens, I am.’’

‘’Shiiit,’’ the man breathes out and lowers his gun. Stupid move, one should never do that.

‘’I presume you are, too?’’

‘’Put your gun down, we’s here to kill _him_ , not each other,’’ the young man says and sits down. ‘’How much are they paying you?’’

Harry lowers his gun, but stays on guard. ‘’You realise that I can’t tell you that?’’

‘’Okay, who hired you?’’

‘’I can’t answer that either.’’

‘’Maybe you should ‘cause it looks like our employers gave us some shit intel, ‘cause mine swore that I was the only one after this guy.’’

Harry observes the young man. He’s desperately handsome and really quite young – he must be in his twenties, several years younger than Harry was when he first started out. But he is dressed unassumingly and wearing gloves, so he’s got the basics down at least. Harry’s – well, their – mark is tied securely, so that’s another point in the young man’s favour. Although Harry wouldn’t have bothered with all that, he prefers to keep it simple and without fuss. A single gunshot to the head from a respectable distance and the job’s done. There was, in Harry’s opinion, beauty in simplicity.

‘’Mine may have insinuated the same.’’

‘’Ha! There!’’ the young man says gleefully. ‘’So you agree that this seems fishy.’’

‘’That is not what I said.’’

‘’It’s what you thought, though.’’

He’s right. Harry had been told that he was the only one with the contract. Assassins and their handlers may have been morally shady people, but even they had a code of honour of sorts – it was common courtesy to inform each other of contracts, so that you wouldn’t have a situation like this where two assassins turned up to kill the same person at the same time. Horribly awkward, much like two ladies wearing the same dress to the party, only with more severe consequences.

Harry hums. ‘’Well, yes. It is rather suspicious that – ‘’

He heard the front door open and fell silent. The young man looks at him with wide eyes. ‘’Another?’’ he mouths incredulously.

‘’Honey, you home?’’ calls a woman’s voice from the lobby. Harry grabbs the young man’s arm and pulls him up. Without thinking, he shoots his mark in the head and ushers the lad out of the dining room through the patio doors and into the garden. _Shit shit shit_ , this wasn’t the plan at all; as far as Harry knew, the wife was supposed to be out of the country.

Harry runs straight for the fence, but his companion grabs his arm to steer him to the side, pulling him towards the side of the house, so that they were out of view from the patio. _Good thinking_ , he praises the lad mentally. They run towards the front of the house and the young man vaults over the fence gracefully. Harry follows suit, albeit with a little less flair.

Once on the street the young man looks around frantically. ‘’Did you drive here?’’ he hisses.

Harry nods and starts walking towards his car, holding the lad’s shoulder to keep him from running. ‘’Walk,’’ he whispers. ‘’Don’t draw attention.’’

Harry had parked further away to avoid his car being seen. They are a block when they hear sirens coming their way. Harry is looking for places to hide so that they couldn’t be identified, but the young man has another idea. ‘’Just go with it,’’ he says before grabbing Harry by the lapels of his coat and kissing him.

Harry does go along with it; wrapping his arms around the lad and kissing back as he listens to the sirens get closer and then pass them by. They aren’t kissing anymore, just keeping their lips pressed together, waiting for the sirens to disappear into the distance. Eventually Harry pulls away, keeping his eyes on his companion’s face.

‘’Eggsy,’’ the lad says.

‘’Pardon?’’

‘’My name. Eggsy.’’

‘’Harry,’’ says Harry and holds his hand out for Eggsy to shake. A needlessly polite gesture after they’ve just snogged in the middle of the street, but Harry does consider himself a gentleman. ‘’Well done. Very quick thinking.’’

Eggsy shrugs. ‘’Saw it in a film.’’

Eggsy lets out a low whistle when they finally reach Harry’s car. ‘’I guess you charge more than I do,’’ he says as he openly admires Harry’s X351.

‘’The perks of having been in the business for so long,’’ Harry says proudly.

‘’Ain’t it a bit, y’know? Flashy?’’

‘’It’s a very elegant, understated car.’’

‘’If you say so,’’ says Eggsy and straps himself in. ‘’So what now?’’

‘’We’ll find out,’’ says Harry resolutely and dials Merlin, his handler, who is responsible for making sure that Harry kills the right person.

Merlin picks up the phone on the first ring. ‘’Harry, what the fuck is going on?’’

‘’Funny you should ask, for I have the same question. I arrived at the agreed place at the agreed time and found my mark tied up by another assassin.’’

‘’Yes, well, it seems that there was a scheduling conflict.’’

‘’A scheduling conflict?’’ Harry repeats incredulously.

‘’Seems that the client placed the order with several contractors and neglected to mention that.’’

‘’So it’s their fault?’’

‘’Entirely, Harry.’’

‘’And the fact that the wife came home about three days too soon?’’

‘’That’s just shit luck, Harry. No one knew anything about that.’’

Harry hums thoughtfully. ‘’You didn’t have to shoot him, Harry. You took an unnecessary risk,’’ Merlin says.

‘’I completed the job as well as possible considering the less than ideal circumstances.’’

‘’You were an ass, Harry.’’

‘’Is the man dead? Yes. Am I getting paid? Also yes. I expect the money on the usual terms.’’

‘’Fine. Consider it done,’’ says Merlin and hangs up.

‘’Guess you’re getting paid for this,’’ Eggsy says from the passenger seat. ‘’That’s fair, it was your kill.’’

Harry hums. He can understand Eggsy’s frustration; it wasn’t his fault that the client messed up. But to be honest, he has rather enjoyed Eggsy’s company this evening. ‘’How about a cup of coffee?’’ he asks.

Eggsy smiles brightly. ‘’You’re buying.’’

‘’Naturally.’’

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [eggmuffinwrites](http://eggmuffinwrites.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Up next: it's a surprise for both you and me!


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